Save the Ginger Library

The Ginger Library was not just for ginger-lovers like you and me. As you know, not only was there plenty of ginger of all shapes, types, and sizes (everything from candied ginger to pickled ginger and ginger ale and everything in between), there was also a large section of root-based folk art from Indiana and its surrounding states.

I’m writing this letter to ask for your help to restore funding of the Ginger Library, perennially voted one of the top 125 sturdiest buildings in Central Indiana. You have probably heard by now that the Ginger Library funding was one of the first cuts made by the new State Congress during their annual Corn Tourism and Finances Conference this summer. I won’t go into details, but many prominent newsletter authors and conversationalists have reported that this was a “hit job” by the Garlic Board. I’m not in a position to bring any lawsuits, but Tommy Davidson (In Living Color) has been a notoriously vocal supporter of the Garlic Board and we all know how Hollywood has been influencing things in this country lately.

Anyhow, we’ve raised a small round of financing to open a call center in my cousin’s tropical plant greenhouse. So far we have 13 cell phones (with chargers), 8 touchtones, and 2 Dell pc computers with internet hookups. We’re looking for volunteers to tend the phones, and a young volunteer to turn on the computers. Billy Corgin of the rock band Smashing Punksin has implicitly agreed to host a tv telethon. There will be free coffee courtesy of my cousin and a box of sandwiches courtesy of my other cousin. I urge you all to get here early because the humidity in this environment will quickly rust these phones.